Stop Snoring Remedies

He im a song writer and im pretty sure a lot of you have heard the song Day N Night by Kid Cudi. I was on youtube and i saw that a lot off ppl did a few remixes of their own so i decided to do one myself and i would like for you guys to tell me what you think. I’m trying to better myself feel free to tell me what i need to do to improve is there is any improvement needed. I know when writing music there really isnt any wrong way to go because it’s your own style but, just need to know how the public react to my personal style. Thanks for your time!

The song is about a guy who isn’t who he think he is.

Day And Night (Sleepwalker Remix)

Verse I
Day and night
He toss and turn just to relieve himself
He dreamt a goal but the trail went cold, cold
With pens and needles strap to his head
A lost learner trapped in his world
The strings are pulled
The smell of hormone swing across the room
He hears the girl that want to hold him tight
Too bad she’s just another prototype, type

Chorus
This day and night
A heavy sleeper seem to walk the halls at night
He talks and roam every day and night
A restless sleeper seem to walk the halls at night (at, at, at night)
Day and night
A louring snore seems to screech the halls at night
He walks and roam to find an easy way
A restless sleeper seem to walk the halls at night (at, at, at night)

Verse II
Lets take a ride
Slip in syringe and let’s see what’s on tonight
A motion picture of dancing clone
A puppeteer who can stand on his own, own
With strings attached
He’s an Easter Egg waiting to hatch
The willingness keeps him lodged in his head
A word of wisdom but recall what was said, said

Chorus
This day and night
A heavy sleeper seem to walk the halls at night
He talks and roam every day and night
A restless sleeper seem to walk the halls at night (at, at, at night)
Day and night
A louring snore seems to screech the halls at night
He walks and roam to find an easy way
A restless sleeper seem to walk the halls at night (at, at, at night)

Verse III
Remedies
The asylum old from dust to wall and the cracks
He feels the foreverness, there’s no going back
The open night left him with a bad touch
Hasn’t woken much
The girl that he thought he knew before
Was taken home cause she open doors
He and her were just a
He and her were just a
He and her were just a

Chorus
This day and night
A heavy sleeper seem to walk the halls at night
He talks and roam every day and night
A restless sleeper seem to walk the halls at night (at, at, at night)
Day and night
A louring snore seems to screech the halls at night
He walks and roam to find an easy way
A restless sleeper seem to walk the halls at night (at, at, at night)

At, at, at night
This day and night
Been writing since the beginning of October of 08 and have over 100 song on paper and pad